Ask the Expert: Stepping into a Leadership Role with Andrea D. Carter

Welcome to the second installment of Ask the Expert, a series designed to connect your most pressing leadership questions with insights from top experts. 

If you have a leadership question, feel free to submit it here — we’d love to hear from you!

Q: What are some best practices for a new leader to exert authority and create command respect when stepping into a leadership position with peers, specifically around not compromising trust when enforcing new work expectations and accountabilities?  

A (Andrea Carter): For those stepping into a leadership role for the first time or now leading those that used to be your peers, there is no situation more emotionally charged. However, there is a great possibility to grow a true followership – not in a hierarchical way, but through trust, clarity, and being part of something. 

Here is how to do it well:  

1. Reframe Leadership as Service, Not Superiority  

Your authority is not the title you have on your business card. Followership starts by the way you show up. Your former peers are not sitting on the line waiting for you to “act like a boss”; They’re looking to see how you will clean up with integrity. In today’s culture, leadership means making the world a better place not just to prove that you’re somebody. That shift in mindset is key.  

Belonging Lens: Emphasize Comfort, Connection, and Contribution. Pause to recognize the superpowers of others (Gallup, 2017). Then make sure you have actual examples to apply them to lead the people rather than managing them. Finally, help those you will be leading see how their strengths and input are needed more in this next chapter and articulate the significance of their contribution. When employees feel seen and valued, they stay engaged, even in the face of change and uncertainty (Carter, 2024).  

2. Anchor the Transition in Transparency  

Say the quiet part out loud. This one may sound intimidating, but as a leader, you also need to be able to have open dialogue with your team and give recognition to change. Vocalize the potential awkwardness but also the respect you have for the team and your obligation to help everyone succeed. Ron Ashkenas notes, "few managers will admit to actively avoiding difficult conversations," yet avoiding emotionally charged situations is surprisingly common (Harvard Business Review, 2016). When new leaders walk into their role, this step demonstrates to the team confront challenges through transparent conversation. 

Belonging Lens: Transparency diffuses discomfort and develops trust, which is necessary for fostering followership. Followers will feel more comfortable discussing difficult topics when their new team leader lays a transparent foundation. A good way to do that is by naming the challenges and confronting them. You could say something like: “This transition is going to hit all of us differently. I love our history and that is why I am committed to bringing clarity, stability and cooperation in what lies ahead.” 

3. Reset Expectations with Mutual Agreements  

These aren’t new expectations that you push from the top, but rather ones that you co-create with your team (Gallup, 2016). When a colleague of mine, Trish, was promoted to leadership at a pharmaceutical company, she took over a team of high performers, many of whom had been her peers, and some of whom had also desired the role. As part of her onboarding, we developed a strategy on how to include them in her transition. Rather than simply laying down a set of rules, she convened the team to organize shared agreements and expectations, including things like how they wanted to work when it came to AI use, modes of communication, and arrangements for giving and receiving feedback. The team wasn’t sold on it at first, but as the final framework came into view, they felt more invested. It wasn't up to Trish to try and enforce the shared agreements and expectations – it became standard for their team. In this case, Trish did not abdicate authority; she simply reasserted it.  

Belonging Lens: A neuroscience perspective finds that people are more motivated when it comes to follow-through when they help shape the rules themselves and can contribute to how people will collaborate with one another (Zelenski & Nisbet, 2014). When you include the team, you engage the power of shared perspective and ownership.  

4. Earn Respect Through Consistent, Fair Accountability  

As cliche as it might sound, you aren’t going to get respect by being nice and agreeable. You get it from being transparent, fair, consistent, and reliable (even when it’s difficult). It requires treating everyone the same way, even those who used to be good friends or colleagues. Teams are always watching to see who receives quiet passes while others are held to the letter. A lack of fairness fractures trust, both in you and your team. When people start to wonder, "Is this fair?" you are already on the path to disengagement, which is harder to recover from.  

Belonging Lens: Psychological Safety is a whole lot more than keeping away from discomfort. It’s about making room for feedback that is honest, regular, and safe to absorb. Fairness fuels trust. Leaders who hold the line, particularly when it is uncomfortable, are genuinely respected. You show integrity, and they will show loyalty (Zarghamifard & Danaeefard, 2020).  

5. Build Emotional Agility  

Your leadership will produce emotional reactions, both within yourself and those around you. You must be able to monitor and control your emotions and respond rather than react. Emotional agility is your ability to be with your thoughts and emotions in a mindful, values-driven way without getting derailed by them (David & Congleton, 2013). New leaders who are trained to regulate rather than personalize when someone pushes back or tests boundaries will set a tone for others to follow.  

Belonging Lens: Emotional agility is the bedrock for fostering all five indicators of belonging, which are comfort, connection, contribution, psychological safety, and well-being. Leaders who are emotionally agile demonstrate self-acceptance, which sends the message to others: “You’re allowed to be human here.” Emotional agility also generates empathy that comes from connection and knowing the other person. Moreover, people are inclined to speak up, share their thoughts, and contribute creatively when emotional agility exists, especially when unsure or afraid of criticism (David & Congleton, 2013). Belonging supports resilience in the face of feedback and setbacks. 

Final Thoughts 

When leading those who used to be your peers, don’t feel the need to prove to them that you’ve “changed” into being leadership material. As you step into this next role, remind yourself what got you here in the first place and demonstrate the values that first made you a great teammate: empathy, grit and integrity. These are the same values that will make you a great leader. When you lead with belonging, you don’t just gain respect, you inspire it in others.

References 

Carter, A. D. (2024, June 17). In the face of DEI backlash, belonging plays a key role to future success. The Conversation. https://theconversation.com/in-the-face-of-dei-backlash-belonging-plays-a-key-role-to-future-success-230289 

David, S., & Congleton, C. (2013). Emotional agility. Harvard Business Review, 91(11), 125–128. https://hbr.org/2013/11/emotional-agility 

Gallup. (2016). State of the American manager: Analytics and advice for leaders. Gallup Press. https://www.gallup.com/services/182138/state-american-manager-report.aspx 

Gallup. (2017). State of the American workplace: Employee engagement insights for U.S. business leaders. Gallup Press. https://www.gallup.com/workplace/236441/employee-recognition-low-cost-high-impact.aspx 

Harvard Business Review. (2016, March 16). Even experienced executives avoid conflict. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2016/03/even-experienced-executives-avoid-conflict 

Zarghamifard, M., & Danaeefard, H. (2020). The effect of leadership integrity on employee loyalty: The mediating role of trust and fairness. Public Organization Review, 20, 631–649. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11115-019-00459-5 

Zelenski, J. M., & Nisbet, E. K. (2014). Happiness and feeling connected: The distinct role of nature relatedness. Environment and Behavior, 46(1), 3–23. https://doi.org/10.1177/0013916512451901

Andrea D. Carter (she/her) is an award-winning Organizational Scientist, Neuroscience-Based Strategist, and creator of the Belonging First Methodology™. Named one of Microsoft MSN’s Top 10 Women Disruptors to Watch in 2025, Andrea helps organizations transform toxic cultures into thriving workplaces through belonging. Backed by her groundbreaking research and the only validated organizational belongingness instrument, she equips executive teams with data-driven insights to close engagement gaps and drive performance. With a Master’s in Industrial & Organizational Psychology and roles as a Senior Consultant and Adjunct Professor at Adler University, Andrea’s work spans seven industries, earning her global recognition for her impact on inclusive leadership and organizational change.